What Makes Exes Come Back?
Navigating the Path Back: Understanding What Brings Exes Back Together
In navigating the complex terrain of rekindling a past relationship, one must understand the fundamental elements that contribute to the return of an ex. Here are the key factors that play a crucial role in this journey:
Resurgence of Attraction: At the heart of most breakups lies a decline in attraction.
The intensity of desire we feel towards someone often overpowers hurdles, suggesting that such a strong pull can keep relationships intact against various odds.
If the reasons for the breakup given by your ex seem vague or intangible, like needing self-improvement or bad timing, it's an indicator of waning attraction.
For the person left behind, their attraction usually remains undiminished or even higher than it was, highlighting the disparity in feelings between the two parties.
This is often evident in long-distance relationships, where initial high attraction levels make considerable efforts and sacrifices seem trivial.
However, as the relationship progresses and the initial excitement fades, these efforts begin to weigh heavily, often leading to a decrease in attraction and ultimately, a breakup.
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The Progression of Stages Post-Breakup: Following a breakup, an ex typically undergoes a series of emotional stages, especially when the 'no contact' rule is applied.
These stages an ex goes through during no contact include relief, curiosity, concern, and eventually, contact.
This progression is akin to a journey of realization.
Initially, there's a sense of relief at having ended the relationship, but as time progresses, curiosity and concern about life without their partner begin to surface.
This process allows your ex to experience life without you and reassess their feelings and decisions.
Reduction of Defensiveness: For an ex to consider a reunion, they must first lose their defensiveness.
This typically happens when they no longer feel the need to justify their decision to break up.
If you are persistently reaching out, trying to rekindle the relationship, it only heightens their defensiveness.
Often, an ex’s commitment to their decision stems from prolonged contemplation, making it challenging to sway their stance immediately.
By stepping back and respecting their choice, you allow them to lower their guard, paving the way for reconsideration.
Get my Emergency Breakup Kit to get your ex back!
Risk of Losing You: Initially, an ex may not be concerned about losing you permanently.
They often believe they can reinitiate the relationship at any time, considering you a fallback option.
They think this because at the breakup, they didn’t want the relationship anymore, but you did.
So without consciously thinking the words, the one who initiates the breakup typically thinks of you as a permanent option.
However, when you implement the no contact rule and demonstrate independence and strength, it starts a chain reaction leading them to realize the potential loss of you forever.
This realization often acts as a powerful motivator for them to reconsider the breakup.
Creating Mystery and Desire for Intimacy: In a relationship, sharing daily experiences and emotions fosters intimacy.
When you suddenly withdraw and become silent, it creates a sense of mystery.
Your absence makes them curious about your life, leading them to fill this void with memories and thoughts of when the relationship was thriving.
This mystery can rekindle their interest and attraction towards you.
In essence, these factors collectively contribute to creating an environment where an ex can genuinely reconsider their feelings and decision.
It’s a delicate balance of giving space, evoking curiosity, and demonstrating your strength and independence.
While there's no guaranteed formula for winning back an ex, understanding these elements can significantly enhance the chances of a successful reconciliation.
Get my Emergency Breakup Kit to get your ex back!
Sincerely,
Coach Lee